A bet I once lost
So now the debt must be paid
With Palin Haiku.
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Here’s Palin Haiku #1, boehners, entitled “Late Breaking Update!” Enjoy:
Facebook postings from
Former half-term governor
Somehow make the news.
Be back soon!
Here are your recipes from this week:
TRADITIONAL
- 4 McCormick Taco Seasoning packets
- 3lbs Ground Beef
- Hard Taco Shells (safeway brand)
- Pace Picante Sauce
- ICEBERG Lettuce
- Cheddar Cheese
- Sour Cream
Just follow the instructions on the seasoning packet, dummy!
TRADICIONAL
I sort of combined a few different recipes for the carnitas, so I’ll try to recall what I did:
4lb pork butt, big chunks of fat trimmed, cut into 1 inch chunks
2 cloves garlic cloves, minced
2 whole shallots, cut in half
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. coriander
1 tsp MEXICAN oregano
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. cumin
1/4 cup red wine
2 1/2 cups fresh orange juice
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 bay leaves
1 cup milk
3/4 cup MEXICAN coke
Combine salt, coriander, chili powder, oregano, black pepper, and cumin. Coat pork chunks in spice mixture, and let sit in refridgerator for ~2 hours.
Preheat oven to 300. Heat about 2 teaspoons in a dutch oven and brown pork in batches (two sides). Use new oil for each batch. Add all the pork back to the dutch oven and add garlic, shallots, wine, orange juice, cilantro, and bay leaves. Add water to cover the pork, cover, and place in oven at 300 degrees for 2-2 1/2 hours.
Remove dutch oven from oven and place on high heat on stovetop. Adjust oven to 425. Reduce liquid to about half, add milk. Reduce liquid again to about half, and add coke. Reduce liquid to about a cup (15-20 minutes).
Remove bay leaves and spoon pork onto cookie sheet (leaving as much liquid in the pot as possible). Pull pork with a fork and spread as evenly on cookie sheet as possible. Bake pork for about 10 minutes, stir the pork, and bake for another 10 minutes or so (until meat browns and becomes slightly crispy). Add meat back to dutch oven with reduced liquid.
Serve with:
- Corn Tortillas
- Queso fresco
- Sliced Radishes
- Chopped Tomato-Serrano Salsa
- Charred Tomatillo Guacamole
- Roasted Tomatillo Salsa
Misty and Dumpster Muffin, GET ON THIS:
Bathtub Sparks
2 pieces Pez candy, one yellow, one pink
1 can King Cobra
1 can Red Bull
Crush the Pez until reduced to a fine powder. Transfer the powder to the bottom of an empty glass. Pour in equal parts King Cobra and Red Bull. Don’t be alarmed when the foaming begins; it will subside. Adjust for flavor.
Read the whole thing here.
Here’s what you ett:
Sherried Mushroom Empanadas – Added parmesan to the filling and used pre-made empanada wrappers instead of making the dough (I watched a real live Uruguayan do this, so it’s ok).
Burnt Carrots with Goat Cheese, Parsley, Arugula, and Crispy Garlic Chips
Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Romesco Sauce and Date Shallot Sauce – I used this Romesco sauce recipe instead of the walnut one, and I didn’t put any of the water in. I also brushed the sauce all over the outside while the pork cooked.
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| From UTAH |
I don’t know how to embed this video, so you’re just going to have to click on this picture to see the amazingness.
I present to you a fantastic excerpt from a Superior Court of NJ (of course) ruling on a defamation suit filed against hotchickswithdouchebags.com. You can read the whole thing here.
“The Court concludes that there is no actionable defamation. The book is replete with
obvious attempts at satirical humor. For example, how can a person reasonably believe that in
1981 archaeologist Renee Emile Bellaqua uncovered in a cave in Gali Israel a highly
controversial Third Century religious scroll suggesting that the “douchey/hotty” coupling was a
troublesome facet in early social religious structures? Or would a reasonable person believe that
Jean-Paul Sartre stated “man is condemned to be douchey because once thrown into the world he
is responsible for every douchey thing that he does”? Or that John Hopkins has a Department of
Scrotology or that there was a Theban King Seqenenra Tag, in ancient Egypt known as “gito of
the southern city”? An examination of the book reveals that old photographs of paintings are
doctored to suit the satire in the book. The author also defines a completely fictitious time period
“BG”, before the actor Richie Grieco and “AG” after the actor’s impact on the douchebag male
style.”
Comedy. The end.
New Favorite:
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